It’s Nightside with Dan Ray on WBZ, Boston’s news radio. Joined by Dr. Jonathan Berent and we’re going to talk about avoiding workplace anxiety. Dr. Berent, I would think that one way to avoid workplace anxiety would be to quit and get a different job, but people can’t do that. So what is the secret sauce to avoid workplace anxiety? You are a psychotherapist and author of the book, Work Makes Me Nervous, Overcome Anxiety and Build the Confidence to Succeed. It sounds like a great book. Welcome to Nightside, doctor. Thank you for having me. They could quit or they could get fired. In today’s complex, super competitive business environment, it’s not a good time to have performance anxiety.
And by performance anxiety, I mean interactive situations, formal public speaking, informal public speaking, collegial supervision, conflict resolution, where anxiety, where adrenaline can get the best of an individual. I’ll bet, for example, there are a lot of people, there are a bunch of players on the Red Sox who have performance anxiety these days. Alex Coren doesn’t have performance anxiety anymore, but he also doesn’t have a job. The I get your point. There you go. And I say this as a Boston fan in New York. I was at the 86th game with the Buckner incident. I’m having anxiety right now. Mookie Wilson through the legs. Why didn’t John McNamara put Stapleton out there as the defensive replacement that late in the game? Well, high performance decision making. That’s a conversation for another time. But I’m glad that you’re a Red Sox fan. Were you at the ballgame that night?
I was at the ballgame. I was actually behind home plate. They put on the mega sign. The last time the Red Sox won the World Series, the price of coffee was 18 cents a pound. And then the Buckner thing happened. Yeah. Let me tell you, I thought up until that point, we were on our way home. Both Bob Stanley, the pitcher, who threw the pitch, and Rich Gedman behind the plate are two guys who I’ve got to know in later years. The Mets won it. I was at, I think, game three in Boston or four. But when Ron Darling pitched, a local guy pitching for the Mets broke our hearts. And anyway, so let’s get back. We could talk baseball all night, Dr. Parent. Well, listen, those who are mostly at risk for performance anxiety have a fear of being noticeably nervous. And by noticeably nervous, I mean panic attacks, blushing, erythrophobia is fear of blushing, voice trembling, hyperhidrosis, which is fear of sweating.
And when that happens, the most skilled and successful professionals are brought to their knees because when they are noticeably nervous, it becomes obvious that there are a problem. For example, one of my patients was an ovarian cancer survivor. She was an airline executive, and she had this blushing problem. And she said, I’d rather be back in chemotherapy than speak in front of a group. Why? I asked. She responded, with cancer, there’s no judgment. And it’s this kind of internal pressure that brings people to their knees. For example, when I was waiting to come on air today, my hands were getting cold, a little vasoconstriction, my pulse increased. This is the physiology of performance. I’ve learned how to channel it through the years. When patients come to me, it’s this energy that is not controllable that turns into these physical symptoms that can be debilitating. I’ve done this for a long time.
I was a television reporter for 31 years here in Boston. I’ve done this now for 19 years. So I’m thinking about making a career of it. My worst hour of the day is the hour before the show, because I’m going through my mind. What have I not thought about? What guest should have I gotten? Once the show starts, all that goes away. I’m lucky to, I guess, having done this a long time, but what would be the hour of anxiety in advance of the show? What does that indicate? Well, that’s the most debilitating process for most of my patients. It’s the anticipatory anxiety. That’s what they have to learn how to channel. The best of people, as I said before, can be brought to their knees. If people go to socialanxiety.com, there is a free library of interviews where people can really hear how people suffered and how people resolved the problem. The world-renowned physician who, quote, cured her public speaking anxiety, that was her word, not mine. The very successful CEO who makes millions of dollars a year. The Harvard lawyer who has 30 lawyers working for him. You wouldn’t think that these people have performance anxiety, but they do. Now, everybody is looking for technique. There’s two ways to resolve the problem. There’s technique and there’s deeper work. The technique is based on the paradox of adrenaline acceptance. The technique I call surfing. Step one is realistic expectations,
which means your adrenaline is going to be there. Don’t waste any time hoping it’s not. Step number two, which is the hardest, is to accept it with the interpretation that it’s power and your friend. Easy for me to say, very hard to put into action. Step number three is one or two diaphragmatic breaths with the image or the thought of the surfer going with the wave. The wave is adrenaline. You go with it. You’re in control. It’s a great metaphor. It turns into panic. Now, of course, there is deeper work. This is what a lot of people don’t want to do because going inside introspection, that’s where the pain is. But it’s very important if one is going to resolve the problem to understand where did the hypervigilance come from? Where did the negative association to adrenaline come from?
Because in most cases, you’re not born with this. You learn it over time. I think adrenaline can be your friend, particularly if you’re competing in sports. So I think every athlete will tell you that they can channel the adrenaline to be positive. Dr. Berend, your website then is socialanxiety.com, I’m assuming. Is that correct? Yes, correct. And so folks can get in touch with you through that. Is your book currently available or is it about to come out? The book is currently available. You can get it anywhere or you can get it through the website. Work Makes Me Nervous. Yep. Overcome anxiety and build the confidence to succeed. I always think the second line of a book title sometimes can be the most important. Work Makes Me Nervous. Overcome anxiety and build the confidence to succeed. And I assume that the application of your beliefs and concepts not only are applicable to people who have anxiety in the workplace, but also have anxiety in social settings as well. So it’s not just only, I assume, the same principles can apply to people who have anxiety dealing with, as you said, public speaking, social presentation, etc.
Exactly. Thank you very much, Dr. Berend. I enjoyed the conversation a lot and I just wish they had taken Buckner out and put Stapleton in. Yeah, but listen, in 2004, the universe changed. The Red Sox won the World Series, so anything is possible. No question. My son worked for the Red Sox for 10 years, so I feel very strongly. I agree with you. He was there for the World Series in 7, 13, and 18. And it’s a great feeling. It is a great feeling. Fall was great too. Thanks so much, Dr. Jonathan Berend.
