A collection of questions and sharing by our readership community about a wide variety of aspects of social anxiety. Dive in and receive practical insights and advice.
QUESTION BY:
Anonymous
7-Year-Old With Selective Mutism
I have self-diagnosed my daughter with Selective Mutism based on the research I’ve been doing and the information I’ve read. I’m currently searching for a doctor in the Miami area who can provide a proper diagnosis so we can determine the best course of treatment. Do you have any recommendations for obtaining a professional and accurate diagnosis?
My question is: Are there varying degrees or a spectrum of Selective Mutism? What are the best-case scenarios for recovery?
My daughter does communicate with teachers, camp counselors, after-care assistants, and children her age. Although her communication is somewhat limited, she does speak to them and seems fairly comfortable at school with both her teachers and classmates. Academically, she is doing very well.
However, outside of school, she only speaks to immediate family members, our nanny, and her grandmother. She will also talk to other children, but she does not speak to aunts, uncles, friends’ parents, or older teenagers in the family.
I’m also a bit unsure about how to handle conversations with her. Should we make her aware of the problem? Does openly discussing it help children as they work to overcome it?
I sincerely appreciate any insights you can share, as I’m very eager to get her the help she needs as soon as possible.
Jonathan Responds:
The fact that your daughter talks to the people you mentioned is a good sign as the problem does occur in many degrees. Diagnosis of the problem is relatively simple. It’s the treatment that is the real challenge! If the child is able to talk normally, but shuts down verbally in a pattern of “select” scenarios where there are verbal expectations SM is present. The expectations create obsessive worry, which results in the compulsion of detaching from, and avoiding, verbal behavior. In my therapy with parents of sm children I have found it very productive to:
Get parents on the same team with parenting technique and philosophy.
Learn a methodology of non-enabling.
Teach the child an understanding of anxiety.
Teach the child to identify and attach to emotions.
Teach the child to identify thought patterns.
It does take some work. The free seminar “with professional baseball player” and Selective Mutism interviews available on our Selective Mutism page will give you more in- depth insight.
